Banyan Tree

Banyan Tree
by Elizabeth Anne Rightor

cherish this anger,
blow into it with billows,
make it come alive
in flame.
burn all that was in my
mind, in my heart.
sing loudly, shout
back
at God.
shout loudly at myself,
surrender to
this fire.

I would lean into
this
unspeakable
sadness,
lean into love
that perplexes me
that leaves me
soaring and longing,
never knowing the outcome.

If I were not looking
for an easier, softer way,
I would say no
to anyone and anything
that battled
with the urgency
of my heart,
battled with the
waves of intensity
that come calling
in the pitch black
of night.

I would embrace
the fire—embrace
the darkness and
touch the hot stones,
white—like starlight.

I would sit
under a banyan tree
and let
the salt water
cover my body—
let the elements
take away
everything.

I would
let
the world
hold me.

I would let
the soft Earth
sing to me
its sweet song.
I would stay
here
in this world.
I would do whatever it takes
to kiss the Earth,
to give back to it
the seed that brought
me life.

I would
open trust
like a canyon
and dive
into its deep waters
black and blue and
turbulent.

I would never
again
look
back
and wonder
why.

I would dance
with Death.
I would call him beside me.
I would learn to love
his crooked smile.
I would allow myself
to leave all
remaining threads
of control.

I would
dive
into
the deep
blue waters
of death
of love
of knowing
what can
never be
understood
with beautiful words
like raindrops,
like dancing,
like hunger.

Visit Inner Radiance Blog again soon for helpful articles, tips on relationships, poetry, inspiration, and insight. Author Elizabeth Rightor, MA, MEd is a family therapist in private practice who specializes in working with couples and women suffering from anxiety. You can find more about her and her work at www.elizabethrightor.com.